Looking out the window of my cube, I’m stuck with the idea that I need to get the hell out of here. The white snow, the below 0 Fahrenheit temperature, the salty roads, everything about this place is making me want to just pack my bags and go. The kicker is that I have no set idea where I want to go, but I just know I want to go. It wasn’t that long ago that I was in Vegas for SEMA, and just now thinking about that makes me wonder if it’s the environment that i’m in that’s making me unhappy, or if it’s just a general reprieve from my boring existence that i’m looking for. Death thoughts can really mess with your synapses.
A change of scenery is something that’s not always easy to do, not without either ripping up roots, severing friendships, or at least making some sort of sacrifice. I think maybe I want to head down to California or Florida and just cruise up and down the coast and experience the joys of permanent warm weather, the wind on my face on Highway 1, tunes cranked. The shitty part of the deal is that it’s probably going to work against me if I end up going by myself. It’s no fun enjoying life without someone to share it with. That’s probably the bigger, deeper reason for me wanting to get the fuck out of here, but it’s nice to think that it just might not be the real reason.
If only that were my job, if only that were my “raison d’être“, then I believe I would truly be a happy man. It’s funny because I’ve never really been much of a travelling guy, but these winters are making me re-evaluate my permanent scenario. It would definitely suck to leave friends behind, but it’s not too hard to start over, especially when we’re young.
Maybe it’s also because I have this pretentious prick of a consultant who I have to work with who seriously needs to die in a fire. One that I’ve caused. I would then light his grave on fire.
Maybe I need a pet.
Posted by E-LAM 
